From: Valerii Babynin (Odesa): It took a long time to write this post. Firstly, because it is difficult and shameful to open up your sins and weaknesses to people, and secondly, understanding that the main idea of the post will probably be perceived by many people as a bad fantasy or worse betrayal. But after long deliberation, I still came to the conclusion that I should publish it, because it is a matter of truth, which means it is an existential matter on which our present and future depend.
And here comes Easter time, as they say, God himself commanded. It must be said that for the first one and a half years of this war I endured all the difficulties and threats associated with it relatively easily. Somehow the Lord has given me fearlessness and faith to live relatively calm under all these new conditions of our existence, shelling, constant threats, restrictions, etc. d.. I’ve even been supportive and comforting other people, and sometimes I made fun of their fears.
At the beginning of the war, I thought that my business (art commissions) would be covered with a copper basin, but no, and the commissions remained and friends helped, so it was possible to lead a safe life in my beloved (but already military) Odessa.
But somewhere since last fall, after it flew very near Sofievskaya and our house shook, after the destruction that became more and more in the city center, at the sight of the death and suffering of many people, my compatriots, gradually the animal fear of death entered into my soul and I began to feel strong the stress of being fired up.
Well, I thought, if quickly and immediately, but I am most afraid of a long painful death, if I have to die under the rubble, and not immediately, but in suffering. This is somehow not aesthetic at all. It must be said that I am a non-military man and I do not possess the special courage when such threats arise. The only salvation was (and remains) prayers and reminding oneself of the gospel truths about eternal life.
But it didn’t work out just fear. Out of fear, I developed a strong hatred for our enemies and, probably, due to the peculiarities of my mental organization of the artist, I began to fantasize about the themes of the arrest and trial of Putin and his clique. Then I began to present the scenes of execution of the political leadership of the hostile country (for example, through hanging on Red Square or in front of the drama theater in Mariupol). And then, after the collapsed parade in the village of Kotovsky and the deaths of children, I moved on to presenting scenes of torture against these people. I will not describe these horrible pictures, I will save your psyche, I will only say that it was like an adventure, an obsession. Sometimes I would grab on and chase these terrible thoughts, but after every shooting or tragic news, they would keep coming back over and over. It was a bit comforting that, judging by the conversations and posts of many people (including famous church ministers), I was not alone)). Although this is of course a consolation.
But one morning I awoke from the words in my head: “you have become like him,” “you have become the enemy of human souls.” You can’t argue with the Spirit, I realized that I went too far and I need to repent. Immediately the words of Jesus came to mind: “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who offend you and persecute you, that you may be the sons of your Father in heaven, for he commands his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Matthew 5:44,45.
By the way, all theologians and researchers of the New Testament believe these words to be authentic, the words of the Lord Himself. Moreover, the most modern and progressive theologians believe that these words reveal the heart of God, His true, profound essence. “What a challenge!! And I’m supposed to do this?!! After all that these f@@@rs have done in my country?! “, – somehow I want to answer this commandment at first.
But then I asked myself this question: “and what can really save us?” “, and now I am not talking about saving the soul in eternity, with this everything is clear, but what will save our Ukraine and deliver us from the aggression of Putin’s dictatorship? I looked at the West, the USA, Rammstein, etc. for too long – low bow to them for what they have done and are doing for us and our salvation. But, alas, the West turned out to be the West too quickly deal with the rush, and the great America is on the verge of a split in civil society and it is quite likely that the scales of historical development will soon swing in this country towards the politics of isolationism.
Our soldiers, the Armed Forces can partially protect us from shelling, in the best case scenario we will return our territories, including Crimea. But who will appease this monster and change Russia?
Now the answer is obvious to me. Only God. Only the one who reigns over all and all is Jesus Christ. Because, if Christ enters the heart of Putin with His love and gives him the grace of accepting the truth, and so will Russian rulers, law enforcement officers, Facebookers, military, oligarchs, religious officials, cultural and scientific figures, propagandists and other layers of the Russian population, if they see all the horror of their crimes and bring their own repentance to God, then complete and final Victory will come. The war will be over instantly. That’s why Jesus commanded us to pray for them this way! The energy of God’s love and His peace permeates and spreads across the earth through our minds and hearts, reaching all new and new people.
I want to agree at once that the repentance of criminals does not cancel for them the consequences of their crimes and human earthly judgment over them. In reality, it is always a long and complex transformation of society. Difficult and scary times await Russia. The commandment of Christ also does not cancel the defense of his home and his country. Glory to ZSU and our heroes! But to a complete victory with the cessation of warfare and the onset of long years of peace, only God will guide us if we ask Him to change Russia, for its blessing and repentance for this people, and for ourselves.
When God showed me my sin-ridden heart, I understood one more thing: what is Satan’s plan. Evil always provokes to multiply itself in other people, and thus tests a person. Satan wants to dehumanize people, dehumanize them and make them like himself. Now we can clearly see that Putinism wants to destroy Ukraine. But that’s only part of his plan. Remember, Putin told a schoolboy that Russia’s borders never end. This is his satanism (that is, opposing God) – constantly, limitless sow evil, lies, hatred, aggression, spread them more and more, subjugating people and nations to himself. Wanting to absorb Ukraine (although the intestine is thin, of course), he wants to go on and on.
Signs are important, but not to Satan. Empire, Soviet Union, Russian world, – all will agree to fan the fire of pride and hatred. Look at what Russia has become, what hatred sprayed by propaganda and Putin’s minions, it has dragged into this ominous vortex of hatred of so-called church ministers, cultural and scientific figures, thousands, millions of people. We ourselves, responding to the resistance, are involved in this whirlpool.
Satan is waiting and rejoicing in it. The main thing for him is to destroy God’s world. It is fed and intensified by the energy of universal hatred and evil. I think this is what they staged (or are using it now) the Crocus terrorist attack to cause a new wave of hatred among Russians. You can write and talk a lot about this. But the point is that in the eternal struggle of good and evil, good always wins and lifts us even higher to Heaven. And not just good, but God’s grace.
Therefore, even today before us Calvary, the humble and loving face of Christ, His face covered with blood, but his gaze filled with love for people. To my enemies. This is only possible when you see the Kingdom. God’s kingdom of peace, love and justice. The Son of God saw him and brought us this kingdom.
In a sense, Satan-Putin was late with his archaic paradigms of reality. He would be happy to rise to the level of his teachers – Stalin, or maybe the Führer himself, but the world is not the same, the cursed world for him is postmodern laughing at the dwarf and disrespecting him. And he can’t even find ideology, so, a compilation from the old riot, and only. But he is still dangerous for us Ukrainians, and so I suggest to use God’s main weapon – to try to fulfill Matthew 5:44, 45.
While we wait for a vote in the lower houses of the US congress, while Scholz pokes a hole with his Taurus, while those f**g F-16s arrive, let’s use weapons that are more powerful than any combined atomic bombs on the planet. And we will send him mentally and heartily to Moscow, to Russia. I understand this is hard, even if it seems impossible, but it is what Jesus calls us to do.
Perhaps the idea of the Kingdom of God, which has already begun to manifest with the arrival of Christ on earth, with His victory over death and His resurrection, will help us in this. Kingdom of peace, love and justice. God showed me some amazing pictures of the world this February. I experienced the sensations I had as a child in my beloved Odessa – a state of happiness, joy, serenity. I don’t know for sure when it will be restored, this year or next but it will. But in order to do this, we must trust God and strive to fulfill His commandments.
We can also imagine the faces and souls of the people to whom we direct our prayer and God’s love. And once her little voice touches their hearts, they can no longer say what they say, do what they do, give the orders they now give.
In conclusion, I suggest, who can, who will find spiritual strength and understand the meaning of this commandment – this Easter time, let’s pray according to Matthew 5:44,45, each with his own words, who can…
And we have a precious promise from the Lord – “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, whatever you ask, and you will have it.” John 15:7.
Voice of Ukraine 