Voice of Ukraine

From: Maia Mikhaluk in Kyiv (1126th day)

This sounds very much like the reality of our war against ruzzia, especially at this stage. The West is too scared to hurt the “goblin”. It would rather keep sacrificing the neighbors of goblin state, meanwhile rescuing the hungry and weak goblin occasionally by negotiating and giving into goblin’s rediculous demands..

From “The Goblin Reservation” (Allegorical Scene)

— “The ad said you offer quests,” said the Half-Elf to the mayor. “But it didn’t explain the objective. Could you clarify?”
— “It’s simple,” the mayor shrugged. “See that hill? A goblin with a grenade launcher is camped up there. He occasionally fires at the town. That’s the issue.”
— “Ah, got it. So we need to kill the goblin…”
— “What? Absolutely not!” the mayor exclaimed, waving his hands. “You must not kill him!”
— “Why not?” the Dwarf asked, confused. “He’s a goblin!”
— “Exactly! If we kill him, the global community will call it genocide and label us racists.”
— “So what?”
— “Then they’ll send in troops,” the mayor said grimly.

— “Wait,” said the Half-Elf, thinking. “So this guy shoots at you with a grenade launcher, and you just tolerate it?”
— “We have to,” the mayor sighed. “Otherwise, we’re called the aggressors.”
— “What if you just drive him off the hill?”
— “Then we’re occupiers.”
— “Confiscate the grenade launcher?”
— “Expropriators.”
— “Imprison him along with his launcher?”
— “Don’t even finish that thought,” the Half-Elf interrupted himself. “I get it. This is quite the dilemma.”

— “So what do you expect us to do?” the Princess finally asked. “Re-educate him?”
— “Oh no,” said the mayor. “For that, we’d need a psychologist. But then we’d be accused of psychological abuse.”
— “And cultural oppression,” added the Dwarf with a solemn nod.
— “Exactly!” the mayor exclaimed, relieved. “You understand!”
— “So what do you need from us?” the Princess asked again.
— “To deliver a package,” the mayor sighed.
— “To the goblin?”
— “Yes. There’s no food on the hill. In about an hour he’ll get hungry, declare a ceasefire, and initiate peace talks. He does this every day. Asks for food, wine, weapons—sometimes other things… Then after eating, he says negotiations have stalled and resumes fire. The global community is very sympathetic. They say he’s important.”
— “What if you stop delivering food and weapons?”
— “Then they’ll say—”
— “Okay, we got it,” the Half-Elf cut in.
— “…and they’ll send in troops,” the mayor muttered.

— “Then why us? Why not send one of your own people with the delivery?”
— “We’ve tried. None of them came back.”
— “Did the goblin kill them?”
— “He says no.”
— “And…”
— “And the global community believes him.”
— “And…”
— “And then they say we’re the provocateurs. You see, the goblin’s offering a peace initiative—a goodwill gesture. If anything goes wrong, it’s obviously our fault. But you… You’re outsiders. Maybe he won’t harm you.”

— “So let me sum this up,” said the Half-Elf. “Put all the politics aside: you want us to pick up a parcel and deliver it to a client. A simple courier quest. Everything else is your problem. Right?”
— “Correct,” confirmed the mayor. “So, do we have a deal?”
— “Deal,” the Half-Elf nodded. The mayor exhaled with relief.

— “May I ask a question?” the Princess raised her hand. “You’re so afraid the global community might call you aggressors, warmongers, or worse—but what do they call you now?”
— “Idiots,” the mayor replied sadly.

PS: The story is a satirical allegory and commentary on global double standards in modern warfare and diplomacy, particularly echoing frustrations felt by Ukrainians and their allies. It’s not a literal excerpt from Clifford Simak’s original 1968 novel but rather a parody inspired by it.