Voice of Ukraine

From: Ira Kapitonova in Kyiv (Day 917)

Wondrously show your steadfast love,
O Savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings,
from the wicked who do me violence,
my deadly enemies who surround me.
Psalm 17:7-9

We were blessed with a day with no air raids. After the previous two nights, sleeping in your bed through the night felt like a luxury.

Quite often, when I get messages from some of my friends, and they ask me how we’re doing, I pause for a moment before responding. How do you put into words this colorful mixture of feelings and experiences? Sometimes, I start typing a longer response but then erase it and replace it with the words “I’m fine.” And it’s not just a shortcut answer. We truly are fine (or even more than fine) even when the circumstances are far from fine. We’re fine when we have just 4-6 hours of electricity a day because we’ve learned how to deal with it and are thankful to have even this little. We’re fine after the missile attacks because we’re alive, and the attack is over. We’re fine when we can have a semblance of “normal life.” We’re as fine as one can be.

These thoughts have been on my mind for the past few days since I saw the installation created by the Ukrainian artist Liosha Say for the Burning Man festival. The large cartoon-looking letters that spell “I’m fine :)” are made out of elements of surfaces (“pedestrian crossing” signs, a fragment of a shopping center from Kherson, large road signs with city names, pieces of gates and fences, elements of solar panels and transformers, sports and children’s playgrounds) that were damaged by Russian rockets, shells, and bullets.

When presenting the installation, the creators tell about conversations they had with their friends whose houses were hit by fragments of downed ballistics:
” ‐ I’m fine. My mother and I were patched up in the hospital. But everything is ok. They promised to cover windows with film. Thank you for asking.

• We may face this winter without light, heat, and water in some of the houses. But we are fine.
• Explosions in my city hit other houses. I’m fine.
• I just came from a friend’s funeral, but I’m fine. Thank you for waiting at work.”

So if you ask me how we’re doing and I say “We’re fine,” please know that it is my sincere answer, and feel free to tell me how you really are doing.